This weekend I was invited to do a talk at a fitness event in London called ‘Fitflunce’. The team at Fitfluence host monthly events that include active workouts as well as delicious healthy food, lead by a panel of industry pros. Previously Fitfluence sessions have been lead by Alice Liveing aka @clean_eating_alice, Em Fury @EmFurey, Annie Clarke @mind_body_bowl and many more leading women in the fitness industry. I was very honoured to be asked to speak at the April event.
I’m very passionate about women’s health and fitness and anyone who’s ever met me will probably tell you that I talk a lot! 🙂 I wanted to share my ideas about confidence, how I have become more confident myself and also how I try to build confidence with my clients.
Here’s a little bit of what I had to say . . .
Over the last 5 years, I have had the opportunity to work with lots of different women. I have lead fitness classes and bootcamps as well as training with clients one to one. Spending a lot of time working with clients has helped me to learn a huge amount about people and the relationship between confidence and success.
Whenever I meet a new client, we always chose a goal that I know will help to motivate them to make positive changes to their lives. Regardless of their reason for training with me, this goal is NEVER an aesthetic goal. We don’t work towards a target weight and we don’t talk about dress sizes. We choose a physical goal, for example, completing a 5K run or mastering crow pose. We then set a date on the calendar and work towards that goal. Personally, I am far more motivate to train myself, when I know that I have a race coming up, so I always sign up for lots of different fun fitness events throughout the year.
Working towards an ‘ideal’ weight is boring and uninspiring. Even when you do reach that goal weight, what’s next? It’s human nature to want more and to continue to raise the bar. At least with my goal of running a 5k for example, when you cross the finish line you’ll have a shiny medal to show for it! 🙂 The hard work and the training is for a reason, you have achieved something, you may have raised some cash for charity or maybe you’ve inspired someone else to start running. Setting a challenge for yourself, will inevitably help you to become more active and to get fitter.
Achieving a fitness goal can also really help to build your confidence. The challenge that at first seemed overwhelming and daunting, then becomes something that you have completed. This can apply to other aspects of your life too, from applying for a job promotion to starting a new relationship. Once you start to believe in your own ability, you will be able to achieve whatever you put your mind to.
Think about how you value other people in your life, someone that you really love, a sister or a best friend. When you think about that person and what it is about them that you love, it probably has nothing to do with how they look. If you’re trying to build your own confidence, start by thinking about those things that people value in you. What are you good at? Are you fun to be around? Do you encourage other people? Remind yourself that you have a lot to offer and that people value you for who you are.
Here are the four key points that I believe can help us to become more confident.
- You are unique. There is no one else like you. You’re experiences, influences, education and your personality have made you who you are. Even if you had a twin, they would not be just like you. Recognising that you are unique is so important. Celebrate who you are! Don’t try to be like someone else or hide parts of yourself. Embrace every part of yourself! Let out you’re inner Beyonce!
- Don’t worry about who’s watching because to be honest, in a world full of distractions, no one is really paying much attention. We all think about what others opinions are going to be. What will this person think if I say that? wear this? or if I post this selfie? The reality is actually, no one cares! It’s so liberating to realise no one is bothered about what you’re doing. Don’t pay £20 to go to a yoga class and then hide at the back incase someone see’s you wobble or fall. No one is watching you in the class because they are focusing on their own unique fabulous self (or at least they should be!) Do your own thing and give it 100%. So what if you fail at something, try it again, and remember no one noticed.
- Never compare yourself to anyone else. We are all on our own path and there really is no point in comparing yourself to a friend, or college, or a complete stranger on instagram! Let’s keep it real, most people only show us their best bits anyway. Stick to your own plan, focus on achieving your goals and if you must make comparisons then look back at your old self and see how far you’ve come.
- Confidence is a choice. It is not something that you are simply born with or without. We can all become more confident and achieve incredible things. Use positive language to encourage yourself and others around you. I always tell me son ‘You can do it!’ whether he is trying to tie his shoe laces or trying to balance on the beam in his gymnastics club. I don’t want to tell him to be careful or not to try something incase he fails. I want to encourage him. Be your own cheerleader, empower yourself and tell yourself that you can do it!
There are so many more ways that we can become more confident, I told you that I talk a lot! 🙂 I’m thinking about filming a video about it for my YouTube channel. Let me know if you have any questions, I’ll try to include them. I really enjoyed meeting so many lovely women at the event and I hope that they found my talk useful.
You can follow me on Snapchat : you_adrienne for daily motivation and fitness fun.
Thanks for reading, have a wonderful week!